We talk about “boundaries” a lot these days - especially in therapy circles. But despite how common the word has become, many people I work with still feel unsure about what boundaries actually are, let alone how to recognise or set them in their own lives.

There’s a sentence I often hear in therapy, usually accompanied by a mix of guilt and confusion:

“But they’re still my mum.”

“But he’s still my dad.”

It usually comes after someone has started recognising that their parent might not have been as emotionally available, respectful, or safe as they once thought - or hoped. There’s a dawning awareness that things need to change. But just as quickly, guilt rushes in to shut it down. The idea of creating distance, saying “no,” or prioritising your own wellbeing feels impossible when that deeply ingrained narrative kicks in: You only get one mum or But they’re family.

We all have an inner critic. That little voice in your head that says, “You’re not doing enough,” or “Why can’t you just get it right?” It shows up when you’re already feeling low, or when you’re about to take a risk that matters. It piles on when you’re struggling. And sometimes, it sounds so familiar, so automatic, that you hardly notice it’s there.

Growing up with emotionally immature parents often means growing up with some confusing, painful beliefs about yourself.

You might find yourself feeling like you’re never quite enough for people … but also somehow way too much at the same time.

It’s exhausting - and it’s not your fault.

Shame is one of those feelings that can stick to you like glue - quiet, heavy, and hard to name.

You might not always notice it’s there, but it can show up in your inner voice, your relationships, and the way you see yourself.

If you grew up with emotionally immature parents, there’s a good chance you’ve been carrying shame that was never truly yours to begin with.

Realising that you experienced emotional neglect growing up can bring up a lot of mixed emotions; relief, sadness, anger, even confusion.

You might find yourself wondering, “Now that I know… what do I do with this?”

When we think about childhood emotional neglect, it’s easy to focus only not he past. But the trust is, its effects often follow us into adulthood - especially into our relationships.

Emotional neglect can be incredibly difficult to recognise, especially because it’s about what didn’t happen. You may have grown up in a house that seemed loving, with no major problems - yet still feel like something vital was missing.

If you often feel disconnected from your emotions, relationships, or sense of self, emotional neglect might be part of your story. So let’s dive into it together.

When we talk about childhood neglect, most people imagine the obvious; not being fed, clothed, or cared for.

But emotional neglect can be much more subtle. And because it’s so invisible, many people don’t even realise it happened to them - let alone anyone else.

Do you ever catch yourself saying yes to your parents out of guilt or a sense of obligation - even when you’re exhausted, busy, or just don’t want to?

Maybe you rearrange your schedule, suppress your needs, or bite your tongue to “keep the peace”.

If so, you’re not alone.

Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, especially when dealing with emotionally immature parents. You might find yourself caught in frustrating conversations, feeling drained after every interaction, or questioning whether you’re being unreasonable for wanting healthier boundaries. The truth is, protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it’s essential. In this post, we’ll explore why boundaries matter, phrases to help you navigate tricky conversations, and how to stand firm without guilt.

Guilt is a natural emotion that plays a crucial role in our moral and emotional development. When experienced in a healthy way, guilt helps us recognise when we have made a mistake, encouraging us to make amends and grow as individuals. It strengthens relationships by promoting empathy, accountability, and ethical decision-making.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying “yes” to your parents even when every part of you wanted to say “no,” you’re not alone. Many adults who grew up with emotionally immature parents feel an almost instinctive pressure to comply—whether it’s agreeing to a last-minute request, accepting unwanted advice, or sacrificing their own needs to keep the peace.

If you grew up feeling like it was your responsibility to keep the peace, manage emotions, or even take care of your parent's needs, you’re not alone. Many adults find themselves stuck in the role of the family caretaker long after childhood. It’s exhausting, unfulfilling, and often unfair—but breaking free from it can feel impossible.

If you grew up shouldering responsibilities that weren’t yours—whether that meant caring for younger siblings, managing household tasks, or acting as your parent’s emotional support system—you likely experienced parentification. At the time, you may not have even realised it was happening. It was just “normal.”

If you spent your childhood feeling more like a caregiver than a child, you might have experienced parentification—a role reversal where a child takes on responsibilities that should have belonged to an adult.

Maybe you were the one making sure your younger siblings were fed and dressed for school. Maybe you found yourself calming down your parent after their bad day or acting as their emotional support system. At the time, it may have felt normal—or even like something to be proud of. But the truth is, being forced to grow up too fast has lasting effects on your emotional well-being, self-worth, and relationships.

Have you ever been told, “You’re just too nice for your own good”? On the surface, being agreeable and conflict-avoidant might seem like a good thing. After all, you’re keeping the peace, making others happy, and avoiding drama. But beneath the surface, being ‘too nice’ often comes at a hidden cost—one that impacts your emotional, mental, and relational well-being.

Growing up with emotionally immature or narcissistic parents often means you’ve been taught—directly or indirectly—that your needs come second, or even last. You might have been praised for being “the helpful one,” or made to feel guilty if you weren’t always accommodating others. As an adult, this can lead to patterns of over-giving, people-pleasing, and neglecting your own well-being.

Have you ever said “no” to someone, only to be immediately hit with a wave of guilt? That heavy, uncomfortable feeling might leave you wondering if you’ve done something wrong or let someone down. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and it’s not your fault.

If you grew up with at least one emotionally immature parent, chances are you know a thing or two about being a people-pleaser. That sinking feeling when you think someone is upset with you—the way it can feel life-shattering—might be all too familiar.